You didn’t get married thinking you’d ever need get a divorce. It’s not a thing most people plan for. No matter who’s to blame or what kind of terms you and your spouse are on, divorce is a difficult for everyone involved. However, if you prepare yourself properly, you can make the entire process a lot easier on yourself. Here are a few tips for getting yourself through divorce in one piece:
- Take care of yourself emotionally. You’re probably experiencing a lot of emotions right now. You might be stressed about what your uncertain future holds. You might feel rejected, lonely, and hurt. Take the some time for yourself to get the healing that you need. If you have the resources, talk to a therapist who is experienced in supporting people through the dissolution of a marriage.
- Take the high road. It is entirely normal to have strong emotions towards your ex during a divorce, and the division of all of your assets. Engaging in conflict will only make your divorce proceedings more difficult and hurtful. If your spouse is combative, do your best to remain calm and professional. It is difficult to maintain hostility with a person who stays composed.
Along this subject, be careful not to choose an aggressive attorney. Remember, your goal is to separate your lives and designate alimony, and care and custody of the children. Having an attorney who treats your spouse as an enemy will only make the entire experience hard on everyone.
- If possible, do not leave your marital home. Separating from your spouse is a huge life change, relocating will only add stress to that. Especially for the sake of your children; staying in their home will provide some stability to them. Even if you anticipate moving down the road, many therapists say it is healthiest for your mental well-being to stay where you are until you’ve been separated for at least a year. Additionally, if you move from your shared home before the divorce is final, your spouse’s attorney could claim you forfeited “de facto possession” of the home to your spouse.
- Keep good records. The unfortunate truth is that it is common in divorces for spouses to hide assets, falsify financial reports, and wrack up credit card debt before everything is separated. You can protect yourself and your possessions by making lists of all of your assets. Keep tedious records of bank reports, credit card bills, phone bills, and so on. Restrict any communication with your spouse to e-mail, so that it is all documented. There is no such thing as providing your lawyer with too much documentation.
- Hire an experienced divorce attorney. Divorces often have complicated legal implications that only an experienced divorce attorney will know how to handle correctly, in your best interest. Ideally, look for an experienced divorce attorney who spends at least 75% of their time handling negotiation and mediation of divorce. Don’t be afraid to interview two or three attorneys before choosing one you feel comfortable with and trust.
Have you gone through a divorce? Do you have any tips or support to share with others who are in that position? Please leave us a comment below. Visit here for more.